Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Unexpected love in numbers.

10. I have known that my life with Dan has been ending for the last 10 months. It didn't ever really get 'better'. It got worse and worse. Culminating in a comment from him just over a month ago, that my kids could not come to the house we share over the summer.

9. I have seen at least 9 different places to live in the last few months. I found a large, affordable mobile home. Perfect for the kids and me. It's 2 years old, meticulously clean, in a fantastic school district. It doesn't even look like a mobile home.

8. I have been applying to jobs for the last 8 months, NOTHING. Then this week I finally started hearing back on all those resumes and applications. It's looking VERY good here.

7. 7 weeks ago, my Stepmother (who both looks and sounds like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies) gave me a membership to EHarmony.

6. It took me 6 weeks to make the decision to sign up, not expecting anything, really. Once signing up, it did not look so good out there. Lots of men that I was matched with were very lonely. Ok. Not really lonely more like horny. I had one date. In the middle of the date, he announced that he lived with his mom and he had never had a girlfriend before, and oh, by the way he'd had a heart attack 3 months ago. He was 50. I began to go to EHarmony for the entertainment.

5. 5 days ago I met someone who actually didn't offend me on EHarmony. I was stunned. He was actually friendly, understood my jokes, had a job (!!!!), and was honest about himself. Not once in any communications we've had did he tell me how wonderful he was. Heck, when I still communicate with Dan, all I hear is how great he is and how I've thrown away something good.

4. I told a friend of mine about him (we shall call him Mr. Mysterious Heartbeats for now -- MMH for short), and she laughed at me. She laughed at me because I was being so cautious. She said that I needed to put down my hands, and start paying attention to the gifts that God has been giving me, in His time, in His way. Four amazing things. Gary is going to Iraq in about 4 weeks. In 8 weeks I will have custody of the kids full time ( I'm letting them finish their school year before getting them). I have finally gotten my state residency settled. I have been surrounded by godly women who love me and guide me.

3. I have heard from 3 women whom Dan has had sex with. They all have contacted me. It's freaky, and I don't have any anger for him anymore. I truly am over all of it. It's so strange.

2. I'm ready I have been in counseling, dealing with everything that's been happening. I can truly say that I can be happy in this life with my kids and my God. The two most important loves in my life.

1. MMH understands all of it. HE respects me. We talk for hours, and not once has he tried to steer our conversation into areas of sexual talk. He really cares about me. I'm just walking around stunned. Stunned I tell you. So, it's not a love that makes me want to get married and have babies ( well, maybe it is ) but I've got my head on straight, and I'm just enjoying actually FEELING like a woman who matters to someone beyond her children again.

Pray for me to have wisdom.

9 comments:

Diana said...

Katy, I am so happy the life is turning around for you. But most of all that you are getting rid of that Dan. and that you will finaly have your children with you. Is amazing what happens when we do God will and not our own. Hugs to you. I want you to know that I have been thinking about you alot and praying for you.

Theresa said...

Girl, you know I'm happy you've moved out and that you're going to be getting your kids, certainly have been praying for you to get a job. I don't want to bring you down but I do want you to be very cautious. People can be very deceiving as you well know from your choices in the past, they looked wonderful in the beginning too. There are an awful lot of horror stories out there from meeting people on the internet. I know you meet great people too (such as you) but you keep using that cautiousness. Since you're just coming out of a relationship, don't rush into another one too soon.

Dedra said...

Katy, Good for you! It sounds like the new paths are beginning to reveal themselves. I pray for you and the kids...God keep Gary safe in the upcoming months, and you as well. Holler if you need anything!!

Monica M said...

Hey Katy - good to hear from you. Sounds like you're doing really well - I'm so glad! Don't rush into anything to quickly, and I'll keep praying you find work soon. Hugs to you!

jazzyscrapper said...

Katy I am very happy for you sounds like you are on track and have found some peace. This new mmh sounds interesting but I agree with the other gals take it slow.
Hugs!
Terri

VanillaCarmel said...

wow katy-- you definately have been dealing with some VERY TOUGH issues lately. Some of these I can relate to, believe me!!! Phonecalls from the mistresses, moving to be with a man who turns out to be a disappointment...Just try to
Remember..pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
There is no way you can go through this without difficulty. You will be stressed out, sad, depressed. That is normal. But you do have a choice whether you let the circumstances of your life drag you down or whether you take the bulls by the horns and tackle it all head on. It sounds like you are doing the latter and I am very proud of you for that!!! Things will still be hard at times, but you will pull through.
Now I just need to take my own advice LOL!!!
remember I am not far away. I am having some tough times too, but would love to meet you in Syracuse sometime.
EHARMONY, huh? GoOD for you!!!

Sarah C. said...

Katy, hurray!! So glad to see this post and know you are doing well. Will continue to keep you in my prayers. :)

Aimeslee said...

Wow, you should be proud as hell for everything you've got done and all this progress in such short a time! Love ya, girl!

Linda said...

I am so happy that things are going well for you! I hope they continue to go well if not better for you.