I've been feeling good about my life a lot more lately. I'm on my own, and that is so nice. I'm paying my bills and am starting to see when I'm going to have money left over at the end of payday and that is even more exciting. I am actually feeling empowered and excited about my future.
Yesterday at work I finally saw my goal as something that I can do. I have been creeping my way to 100% in quality. It's not as easy as I initially thought. It seems that I get points taken off for things that are stupid so I need to pay more attention to the basic things and I will be fine.
My love life is good. I like dating someone who is very consistent. I like me and where I am personally. I like the feeling of knowing that I can live without someone, and yet knowing that I really don't want to. I also feel very confident that whomever God has for me in my life, I am going to be very happy with myself first.
Pretty good, eh?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Hi. My name is Pharisee.
Today, as I was sitting in church and listening to the pastors sermon, I had a thought, "Gosh, I'm so glad that I'm not like those brides that didn't have enough oil for their lamps, and they missed the bridegroom."
Yeah.
Then my add brain went into full gear. I guess I am not like those brides. I'm worse. I am more like a Pharisee. "Oh LORD thank you that I am not like those brides that did not have enough oil." Perhaps I would have better luck tearing my garments and pouring ashes over my head for more drama, Lord knows that those Pharisees didn't thrive on drama at all.
Today God took the time to really love me. He gave me friends that truly lift my spirit, and a church family that truly loves me.
Lord, help me to be like the brides, the ones who were ready with their oil, and help me to remind those who walk this path with me to bring their oil. Lord, help me to share the source of the faith that lights my lamp so that others will find their lamps overflowing with that faith and they will share their faith too.
Yeah.
Then my add brain went into full gear. I guess I am not like those brides. I'm worse. I am more like a Pharisee. "Oh LORD thank you that I am not like those brides that did not have enough oil." Perhaps I would have better luck tearing my garments and pouring ashes over my head for more drama, Lord knows that those Pharisees didn't thrive on drama at all.
Today God took the time to really love me. He gave me friends that truly lift my spirit, and a church family that truly loves me.
Lord, help me to be like the brides, the ones who were ready with their oil, and help me to remind those who walk this path with me to bring their oil. Lord, help me to share the source of the faith that lights my lamp so that others will find their lamps overflowing with that faith and they will share their faith too.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Whispered words
This post may be a bit "adult" ( imagine the word "adult" whispered loudly instead of actually being spoken).
When I was in 3rd grade I was at my friend Deena's house. Her father owned a clothing store and they were not just wealthy, but I think that they were one of maybe 4 families in Bismarck that were Jewish. Deena's mom frequently sprinkled yiddish in her daily conversation, and I loved being at their house. They truly loved me and I felt very safe. Anyway, Deena and I were swimming in their pool and were talking in the shallow end, and she leaned close and said,"Katy, there's a hole between our legs and it's called a 'vagina' " She stage whispered the word vagina so I knew it was a forbidden word, I just wasn't sure if it was a word my mother would understand or if it was a word that her mother said.
After telling Denny this story, it's become our habit to just stage whisper ordinary words to each other. Of course, this is something that truly cracks us up and leaves most people in the world a little confused. I think it's the simple little jokes that make a couple feel like they are connected.
So, as I said to Denny earlier. I'm going to change clothes because I need to get ready to go "meet" Naomi. Maybe I'll buy her a "drink" and we can spend some time together "chatting" tonight. Stage whispers. Making the mundane a little more interesting.
When I was in 3rd grade I was at my friend Deena's house. Her father owned a clothing store and they were not just wealthy, but I think that they were one of maybe 4 families in Bismarck that were Jewish. Deena's mom frequently sprinkled yiddish in her daily conversation, and I loved being at their house. They truly loved me and I felt very safe. Anyway, Deena and I were swimming in their pool and were talking in the shallow end, and she leaned close and said,"Katy, there's a hole between our legs and it's called a 'vagina' " She stage whispered the word vagina so I knew it was a forbidden word, I just wasn't sure if it was a word my mother would understand or if it was a word that her mother said.
After telling Denny this story, it's become our habit to just stage whisper ordinary words to each other. Of course, this is something that truly cracks us up and leaves most people in the world a little confused. I think it's the simple little jokes that make a couple feel like they are connected.
So, as I said to Denny earlier. I'm going to change clothes because I need to get ready to go "meet" Naomi. Maybe I'll buy her a "drink" and we can spend some time together "chatting" tonight. Stage whispers. Making the mundane a little more interesting.
Friday, November 7, 2008
A quick update
God is still good. Every day.
I went to the optometrist today, and the Dr. saw a couple microanyeurisms in my left eye. My vision has truly gone downhill in recent history. The Dr. held up a couple lenses for me to look through and there's going to be a bit more of a prescription, but I'm going to take a look at my blood sugars a little more closely before going in for a refraction. I am praising God for this, it was a real wake up call about my health. I have been working out still, and have secret dreams to have arms like Nicole C. Mullen, yeah, that's not going to happen, but I can dream. Anyway, I've just not paid such close attention to my diet, even though I'm losing weight because of my workouts at the gym.
I am enjoying my single life. Work is work. It has it's good and bad days. I have a few days off for vacation, and am glad to have them. No more being abused by customers for a bit!
I went to the optometrist today, and the Dr. saw a couple microanyeurisms in my left eye. My vision has truly gone downhill in recent history. The Dr. held up a couple lenses for me to look through and there's going to be a bit more of a prescription, but I'm going to take a look at my blood sugars a little more closely before going in for a refraction. I am praising God for this, it was a real wake up call about my health. I have been working out still, and have secret dreams to have arms like Nicole C. Mullen, yeah, that's not going to happen, but I can dream. Anyway, I've just not paid such close attention to my diet, even though I'm losing weight because of my workouts at the gym.
I am enjoying my single life. Work is work. It has it's good and bad days. I have a few days off for vacation, and am glad to have them. No more being abused by customers for a bit!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wow.
I've been silent since I posted last. My life has been insane. Insane, but good.
I will start posting more.
I am still employed by AIG. Yes. That AIG. Please pray for me. In between worrying about my actually having a job, and the stresses of paying rent and buying food, I put up with customers calling me and yelling at me.
This week, take a deep breath of air, and reconsider who you are venting on. Really.
I'm *just* an insurance agent. I can only work within the parameters of my companies guidelines. I cannot make your rate go down. If you carry car insurance, I have one little suggestion for you... 100/300 BI. That's it. Check it out, you get a lot of coverage, and it's often a lot less than state minimums.
I will start posting more.
I am still employed by AIG. Yes. That AIG. Please pray for me. In between worrying about my actually having a job, and the stresses of paying rent and buying food, I put up with customers calling me and yelling at me.
This week, take a deep breath of air, and reconsider who you are venting on. Really.
I'm *just* an insurance agent. I can only work within the parameters of my companies guidelines. I cannot make your rate go down. If you carry car insurance, I have one little suggestion for you... 100/300 BI. That's it. Check it out, you get a lot of coverage, and it's often a lot less than state minimums.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The date
Well, I was so scared, that when we met at B&N, I was feeling a little pukey. Then he kindly bought me hot chocolate which I promptly spilled on the table and on his lap. He managed to stay through the whole date.
On the way out of the store, he asked me if I wanted to go out on Saturday. I said yes. He said he'd wear a raincoat and bring a mop.
I'm going to have a second date!!
On the way out of the store, he asked me if I wanted to go out on Saturday. I said yes. He said he'd wear a raincoat and bring a mop.
I'm going to have a second date!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
eHarmony Chronicles
So, dating via eHarmony has jaded me a little about the prospects out there. I was talking with my very married friend Steve yesterday, describing my whole dating outlook, and he started laughing. I've known Steve for 20 years now, actually 23 years now. Ugh. Steve is one of those guys who doesn't have passion for his wife. She gets it. Steve saves his passion for his friends like me. No, it's not sexual passion, but it is love. Steve is just a human blanket. If you are hurting and call him up, he has this way of completely making you feel like you are totally worthy of breathing in about 5 minutes.
Anyway...I had one date with an eHarmony match a few weeks ago. It was laughable to say the least. He was an old 53, not a young 53, he still lived with mom, and he had not done much traveling at all.
Tomorrow night, it's a date with a local pharmacist at Barnes and Noble. I'm looking forward to this one, he sounds like he's got a good sense of humor, and he also has a little girl. I'm definitely not saying he's the one, I'm also not going to be jumping into anything. I am open minded and that's good.
More on eharmony. I've met a lot of men on eharmony who are most definitely africans trying to scam for money.
For example, you are matched up with someone who immediately confesses that they don't live in the states, they are living, or working in another country. The next step is an email requesting some money... they lost their wallet, they didn't bring enough money on their trip, they need money for their hotel bill. They don't ask for a huge amount of money, about 700 or 500 dollars. So I've sort of got the feeling as soon as I get a match that has bad english syntax, or writes something inappropriate in their questionaires that raises eyebrows.
Speaking of inappropriate confessions in the introductory profiles, what man says that he spends his free time "walking and reading romance novels"?
Yeah, it's not looking so good out there folks. It's ok though, I'll be your honest and fearless leader through the joys of dating. At 40. Oh. Boy.
Anyway...I had one date with an eHarmony match a few weeks ago. It was laughable to say the least. He was an old 53, not a young 53, he still lived with mom, and he had not done much traveling at all.
Tomorrow night, it's a date with a local pharmacist at Barnes and Noble. I'm looking forward to this one, he sounds like he's got a good sense of humor, and he also has a little girl. I'm definitely not saying he's the one, I'm also not going to be jumping into anything. I am open minded and that's good.
More on eharmony. I've met a lot of men on eharmony who are most definitely africans trying to scam for money.
For example, you are matched up with someone who immediately confesses that they don't live in the states, they are living, or working in another country. The next step is an email requesting some money... they lost their wallet, they didn't bring enough money on their trip, they need money for their hotel bill. They don't ask for a huge amount of money, about 700 or 500 dollars. So I've sort of got the feeling as soon as I get a match that has bad english syntax, or writes something inappropriate in their questionaires that raises eyebrows.
Speaking of inappropriate confessions in the introductory profiles, what man says that he spends his free time "walking and reading romance novels"?
Yeah, it's not looking so good out there folks. It's ok though, I'll be your honest and fearless leader through the joys of dating. At 40. Oh. Boy.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Unexpected love in numbers.
10. I have known that my life with Dan has been ending for the last 10 months. It didn't ever really get 'better'. It got worse and worse. Culminating in a comment from him just over a month ago, that my kids could not come to the house we share over the summer.
9. I have seen at least 9 different places to live in the last few months. I found a large, affordable mobile home. Perfect for the kids and me. It's 2 years old, meticulously clean, in a fantastic school district. It doesn't even look like a mobile home.
8. I have been applying to jobs for the last 8 months, NOTHING. Then this week I finally started hearing back on all those resumes and applications. It's looking VERY good here.
7. 7 weeks ago, my Stepmother (who both looks and sounds like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies) gave me a membership to EHarmony.
6. It took me 6 weeks to make the decision to sign up, not expecting anything, really. Once signing up, it did not look so good out there. Lots of men that I was matched with were very lonely. Ok. Not really lonely more like horny. I had one date. In the middle of the date, he announced that he lived with his mom and he had never had a girlfriend before, and oh, by the way he'd had a heart attack 3 months ago. He was 50. I began to go to EHarmony for the entertainment.
5. 5 days ago I met someone who actually didn't offend me on EHarmony. I was stunned. He was actually friendly, understood my jokes, had a job (!!!!), and was honest about himself. Not once in any communications we've had did he tell me how wonderful he was. Heck, when I still communicate with Dan, all I hear is how great he is and how I've thrown away something good.
4. I told a friend of mine about him (we shall call him Mr. Mysterious Heartbeats for now -- MMH for short), and she laughed at me. She laughed at me because I was being so cautious. She said that I needed to put down my hands, and start paying attention to the gifts that God has been giving me, in His time, in His way. Four amazing things. Gary is going to Iraq in about 4 weeks. In 8 weeks I will have custody of the kids full time ( I'm letting them finish their school year before getting them). I have finally gotten my state residency settled. I have been surrounded by godly women who love me and guide me.
3. I have heard from 3 women whom Dan has had sex with. They all have contacted me. It's freaky, and I don't have any anger for him anymore. I truly am over all of it. It's so strange.
2. I'm ready I have been in counseling, dealing with everything that's been happening. I can truly say that I can be happy in this life with my kids and my God. The two most important loves in my life.
1. MMH understands all of it. HE respects me. We talk for hours, and not once has he tried to steer our conversation into areas of sexual talk. He really cares about me. I'm just walking around stunned. Stunned I tell you. So, it's not a love that makes me want to get married and have babies ( well, maybe it is ) but I've got my head on straight, and I'm just enjoying actually FEELING like a woman who matters to someone beyond her children again.
Pray for me to have wisdom.
9. I have seen at least 9 different places to live in the last few months. I found a large, affordable mobile home. Perfect for the kids and me. It's 2 years old, meticulously clean, in a fantastic school district. It doesn't even look like a mobile home.
8. I have been applying to jobs for the last 8 months, NOTHING. Then this week I finally started hearing back on all those resumes and applications. It's looking VERY good here.
7. 7 weeks ago, my Stepmother (who both looks and sounds like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies) gave me a membership to EHarmony.
6. It took me 6 weeks to make the decision to sign up, not expecting anything, really. Once signing up, it did not look so good out there. Lots of men that I was matched with were very lonely. Ok. Not really lonely more like horny. I had one date. In the middle of the date, he announced that he lived with his mom and he had never had a girlfriend before, and oh, by the way he'd had a heart attack 3 months ago. He was 50. I began to go to EHarmony for the entertainment.
5. 5 days ago I met someone who actually didn't offend me on EHarmony. I was stunned. He was actually friendly, understood my jokes, had a job (!!!!), and was honest about himself. Not once in any communications we've had did he tell me how wonderful he was. Heck, when I still communicate with Dan, all I hear is how great he is and how I've thrown away something good.
4. I told a friend of mine about him (we shall call him Mr. Mysterious Heartbeats for now -- MMH for short), and she laughed at me. She laughed at me because I was being so cautious. She said that I needed to put down my hands, and start paying attention to the gifts that God has been giving me, in His time, in His way. Four amazing things. Gary is going to Iraq in about 4 weeks. In 8 weeks I will have custody of the kids full time ( I'm letting them finish their school year before getting them). I have finally gotten my state residency settled. I have been surrounded by godly women who love me and guide me.
3. I have heard from 3 women whom Dan has had sex with. They all have contacted me. It's freaky, and I don't have any anger for him anymore. I truly am over all of it. It's so strange.
2. I'm ready I have been in counseling, dealing with everything that's been happening. I can truly say that I can be happy in this life with my kids and my God. The two most important loves in my life.
1. MMH understands all of it. HE respects me. We talk for hours, and not once has he tried to steer our conversation into areas of sexual talk. He really cares about me. I'm just walking around stunned. Stunned I tell you. So, it's not a love that makes me want to get married and have babies ( well, maybe it is ) but I've got my head on straight, and I'm just enjoying actually FEELING like a woman who matters to someone beyond her children again.
Pray for me to have wisdom.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wow... a long break!
I took a long break from blogdom! I have a couple call backs for jobs, and that's been wonderful. I'm starting to feel like there's hope!
My father is doing better. I'm working on relationships with all my siblings, and that's good.
I'm still pretty much fighting depression now, but once I get a job I'll be on my way to my old self. I hate feeling helpless.
So it's a mediocre check in. But it's going to be good. I'm still waiting on something to happen with Dan. I know that I don't want to live my life with him, but I would like for him to get a clue and learn that he can't treat people the way he treats me. Last night I went to our church dinner, where we have a discussion on a certain topic after the potluck. Anyway, Dan called while we were having our discussion and my phone ringer was off. Immediately afterward I looked down and saw he was calling again. When I answered the phone he said, "Thanks for answering your phone." It was all I could do to not hang up on him. He knew I was in church. Grrr. I'm all angry about it again. I just can't wait to be on my own!!
My father is doing better. I'm working on relationships with all my siblings, and that's good.
I'm still pretty much fighting depression now, but once I get a job I'll be on my way to my old self. I hate feeling helpless.
So it's a mediocre check in. But it's going to be good. I'm still waiting on something to happen with Dan. I know that I don't want to live my life with him, but I would like for him to get a clue and learn that he can't treat people the way he treats me. Last night I went to our church dinner, where we have a discussion on a certain topic after the potluck. Anyway, Dan called while we were having our discussion and my phone ringer was off. Immediately afterward I looked down and saw he was calling again. When I answered the phone he said, "Thanks for answering your phone." It was all I could do to not hang up on him. He knew I was in church. Grrr. I'm all angry about it again. I just can't wait to be on my own!!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
A Quick Update
_check__ New Resume.
_check__ Cover Letter.
_check__ Appointment with Pastor.
_check__ Job Interview clothing.
_check__ Feeling GOOD about me.
In my comments for the previous entry, Aimeslee mentioned an intervention. I scoffed initially because I just didn't want to be here for the long run. I changed my mind, for various reasons, but one of them is for his future. I don't want him to think that he is allowed to behave that way. With anyone.
I have a couple resumes in good places. My life is coming together. I am THRILLED.
I WILL find a job. I WILL be able to advance myself. I AM strong and capable, and to channel Jack Handy, "I'm worth it!".
_check__ Cover Letter.
_check__ Appointment with Pastor.
_check__ Job Interview clothing.
_check__ Feeling GOOD about me.
In my comments for the previous entry, Aimeslee mentioned an intervention. I scoffed initially because I just didn't want to be here for the long run. I changed my mind, for various reasons, but one of them is for his future. I don't want him to think that he is allowed to behave that way. With anyone.
I have a couple resumes in good places. My life is coming together. I am THRILLED.
I WILL find a job. I WILL be able to advance myself. I AM strong and capable, and to channel Jack Handy, "I'm worth it!".
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentines Day!
I may not know any of you 'in skin', but I just want you all to know that you are the best support system a woman could ask for. Just knowing that some of you are there to listen to me, has been amazing. I keep plugging along, and keep focusing on the joys of life. Thank you all for being here for me. May you each feel an extra measure of love in your life today directly from my heart to yours.
Thank you!
Now on to the details in my life.
No job. Sigh. I have pulled out the stops, and called all the professionals in my life, and I'm getting a new resume done. I feel like such a failure, but that's life, I'm going to learn and move on. Perhaps I will even get more dough because my resume is put together better.
The man...I don't know what to think. I know that he's not faithful. I know that he is depressed. I also am still feeling like if he can get through the depression the faithful part will come back. I know in my head that I just need to call it good, dust off my hands and step out into the wide world. I deserve fidelity. Truly. I just don't have a job to lean on right now. Soon I will. I KNOW I will.
My faith. Wow...to say that it is growing by leaps and bounds would be an understatement. Each day I encounter a little bit of grace that I hadn't even embraced. I feel sometimes as if I am walking around in a state of continuous revelations.
Me... well, I'm still in the skinny jeans. I'm doing well with the self control and weight loss. I think that part of that good stuff is because I'm not wallowing in depression. I am loving these dogs, and I am having a ton of fun going out for walks with them, and spending time playing chase the stick in the yard. I don't know if I ever mentioned that they are not Labrador Retrievers, but they are Labrador Locators. Fetch is not a word they comprehend, so what happens is that you throw a stick, then you chase down the stick, trying to beat the dog to it, who then snags the stick and just runs like crazy. It's hard to stay fat when chasing dogs.
I have found that I just love this town. I have so many good ideas for my future. Life is good, it's going to be better. I can't wait for the next adventure!
Thank you!
Now on to the details in my life.
No job. Sigh. I have pulled out the stops, and called all the professionals in my life, and I'm getting a new resume done. I feel like such a failure, but that's life, I'm going to learn and move on. Perhaps I will even get more dough because my resume is put together better.
The man...I don't know what to think. I know that he's not faithful. I know that he is depressed. I also am still feeling like if he can get through the depression the faithful part will come back. I know in my head that I just need to call it good, dust off my hands and step out into the wide world. I deserve fidelity. Truly. I just don't have a job to lean on right now. Soon I will. I KNOW I will.
My faith. Wow...to say that it is growing by leaps and bounds would be an understatement. Each day I encounter a little bit of grace that I hadn't even embraced. I feel sometimes as if I am walking around in a state of continuous revelations.
Me... well, I'm still in the skinny jeans. I'm doing well with the self control and weight loss. I think that part of that good stuff is because I'm not wallowing in depression. I am loving these dogs, and I am having a ton of fun going out for walks with them, and spending time playing chase the stick in the yard. I don't know if I ever mentioned that they are not Labrador Retrievers, but they are Labrador Locators. Fetch is not a word they comprehend, so what happens is that you throw a stick, then you chase down the stick, trying to beat the dog to it, who then snags the stick and just runs like crazy. It's hard to stay fat when chasing dogs.
I have found that I just love this town. I have so many good ideas for my future. Life is good, it's going to be better. I can't wait for the next adventure!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I've been tagged by Toners!
- You must post the rules before you give your answers.
- You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name.
- Each fact must begin with that letter.
- If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name.
- After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.
- At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details).
My middle name is Louise.
L-Life is something that I embrace.
O- Often I say that my body is "O" shaped.
U- Umbrella's are something that I don't carry. Sometimes that can suck.
I- I am a much better person in my 40's than at any other time in my life.
S- Sometimes I blame myself for things that I have no control over. (It's a flaw. That can suck too)
E- Every day is a good day when it starts. It's what you do with those opportunities that make the difference.
Now, for the tags...
I tag Sarah
Aimeslee
Kim
Monica
Colleen
Dedra
I chose these guys because they have some fun blogs, and for one of them... Dedra's...I am curious as to what her middle name is. I have been in love with her first name since I first saw her pop up on the message board.
Another "cool" thing about my list is that 4 of the names I chose all live south of the Mason-Dixon line ( I think...) and the other two are Canadians!
I will give an update soon on my life. No job yet, but I'm REALLY getting a lot of leads. Something will show up!
-Katy
Friday, February 1, 2008
My heart is so full right now!
I was feeling really upset about the man, and decided that I was going to just explode.
Then I logged on and read your comments and found my little zen spot. I am better. LOTS better.
So, new things? I went to the Social Security office. I need to get more papers in order for the name change. Then I need to get more papers in order for my passport.
I've decided that I want to take a cruise. I'm going to save every penny I can from my paychecks and I'm going to take a fantastic vacation with my kiddoes. It's going to be a good thing if you ask me.
Today we had an ice storm in the morning that shut down the county. There was a 25 car pile up on I 81. Then at about noon we got rain. On the ice. Then tonight we got snow. Flakes the size of my fist! Weird weather. Tomorrow we're supposed to have warmer weather.
Because of the weather, they closed down the colleges, and Dan didn't go to work. I actually made him a nice warm breakfast. We finished at about 10:40. Then at 2pm he comes downstairs and starts moaning and groaning about how hungry he is, and how he wants to know if I'm going to do anything for lunch. Upstairs I go, I open the fridge, pull out a container of leftovers, dump them in a dish, microwave them, and plop it in front of him.
During all of this, I managed to get dinner in the crock pot. This is just crazy. I need to get a job!!!!! A good job would be lovely!
Then I logged on and read your comments and found my little zen spot. I am better. LOTS better.
So, new things? I went to the Social Security office. I need to get more papers in order for the name change. Then I need to get more papers in order for my passport.
I've decided that I want to take a cruise. I'm going to save every penny I can from my paychecks and I'm going to take a fantastic vacation with my kiddoes. It's going to be a good thing if you ask me.
Today we had an ice storm in the morning that shut down the county. There was a 25 car pile up on I 81. Then at about noon we got rain. On the ice. Then tonight we got snow. Flakes the size of my fist! Weird weather. Tomorrow we're supposed to have warmer weather.
Because of the weather, they closed down the colleges, and Dan didn't go to work. I actually made him a nice warm breakfast. We finished at about 10:40. Then at 2pm he comes downstairs and starts moaning and groaning about how hungry he is, and how he wants to know if I'm going to do anything for lunch. Upstairs I go, I open the fridge, pull out a container of leftovers, dump them in a dish, microwave them, and plop it in front of him.
During all of this, I managed to get dinner in the crock pot. This is just crazy. I need to get a job!!!!! A good job would be lovely!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Life and stuff like it
I wanted to quick post a little about how my life is going.
As many of you have figured out that I am not in a relationship that I am completely thrilled with. I love Dan an awful lot, and when he is kind and normal, I'm thrilled to be with him. He tends to cycle into these horrible depressions that really shred the heck out my world.
I don't know if I want to be on a swing cycle like that for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I have been fairly certain that Dan is cheating on me. Of course I'm not intimate with him right now, because I just don't want to take any chances on catching something that I may not be able to cure with a simple shot if you know what I mean. I'm also not 100% sure, so I'm leaving myself open to being pleasantly surprised.
Because of that certainty, I am looking hard and serious for a good job. I'm hoping to get a job either with the state, or at Lockheed Martin. Both jobs would pay me well enough that I could easily live on my own and have spending money.
I have some savings, and I have confidence that I will be Just.Fine. I just know that I need to be smart. Not make rash judgements, and do the right thing.
In other news: I have re-established a relationship with 4 out of 5 siblings. It will be a cold, COLD day in hell before I speak with the 5th. We are a truly diverse group of siblings. There is about 18 years between me and my oldest sister, and then a couple years between her and Joe. Then there's the one I don't speak of and then the twins. Then 10 years later, there's me. We range the gamut from the fundamentalist, to the Episcopalian to the Scientologist, to the liberal mainstream to the "ain't going to church". I can truly say, though, that I am learning to just love them all wherever they are in their lives.
Now, for other things...Saturday is our big date at the Opera. We're going to see Carmen. I am going to read the libretto tomorrow.
So, there's the check in. Life is moving along, and I'm not willing to stand still and watch it go by me. It's kind of weird, the more I fiddle with planing where my life is going the more content and happy I get. I would think that it would be the opposite, but it is a lovely feeling.
I have two prayer requests. My dear friend Frances is dealing with the passing of her mother, and I want my phone to ring off the hook with job offers!
As many of you have figured out that I am not in a relationship that I am completely thrilled with. I love Dan an awful lot, and when he is kind and normal, I'm thrilled to be with him. He tends to cycle into these horrible depressions that really shred the heck out my world.
I don't know if I want to be on a swing cycle like that for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I have been fairly certain that Dan is cheating on me. Of course I'm not intimate with him right now, because I just don't want to take any chances on catching something that I may not be able to cure with a simple shot if you know what I mean. I'm also not 100% sure, so I'm leaving myself open to being pleasantly surprised.
Because of that certainty, I am looking hard and serious for a good job. I'm hoping to get a job either with the state, or at Lockheed Martin. Both jobs would pay me well enough that I could easily live on my own and have spending money.
I have some savings, and I have confidence that I will be Just.Fine. I just know that I need to be smart. Not make rash judgements, and do the right thing.
In other news: I have re-established a relationship with 4 out of 5 siblings. It will be a cold, COLD day in hell before I speak with the 5th. We are a truly diverse group of siblings. There is about 18 years between me and my oldest sister, and then a couple years between her and Joe. Then there's the one I don't speak of and then the twins. Then 10 years later, there's me. We range the gamut from the fundamentalist, to the Episcopalian to the Scientologist, to the liberal mainstream to the "ain't going to church". I can truly say, though, that I am learning to just love them all wherever they are in their lives.
Now, for other things...Saturday is our big date at the Opera. We're going to see Carmen. I am going to read the libretto tomorrow.
So, there's the check in. Life is moving along, and I'm not willing to stand still and watch it go by me. It's kind of weird, the more I fiddle with planing where my life is going the more content and happy I get. I would think that it would be the opposite, but it is a lovely feeling.
I have two prayer requests. My dear friend Frances is dealing with the passing of her mother, and I want my phone to ring off the hook with job offers!
Visitors to the house
This little guy has been coming up to the deck recently. I apologize for the poor picture, it was taken through a very nosed up glass sliding door. Dan and I really enjoy all the wildlife we see in our area. A couple of months ago I took Molly outside in the wee hours of the morning and we saw a large stag standing in the middle of the road a few hundred feet up the hill. It was SO impressive.
Anyway, we have started to put out some bird feed on the railing of the deck, wondering what kinds of birds we'd draw to the house. It has been AMAZING. I can't wait until the ground thaws in the spring so that we can put up some bird feeders. We have had about 15 birds at a time munching on bird seed on the deck. We also noticed that since we've started to put out the seed, that when we go outside, instead of hearing the call of crows, we also hear the sweet chirping of cute little birds. It's a very nice thing!
So, anyway, when we saw this little guy on the deck, the next time we went to WalMart, Dan picked up a bag of "Critter food". We don't mind that squirrels eat the bird food, so we're deliberately feeding the squirrels too.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The organized and Inspired Scrapbooker
I was visiting Of Cats and Cardstock and had an amazing overwhelming sense of guilt. You've all seen my scrapping space. It's not what I would call beautiful.
The thing is, is that she read the book "The Organized and Inspired Scrapbooker".
It's a book beautiful enough to drool over, isn't it? I HAVE this book. The cover has not even been opened. Why? you ask. It's not been opened because I've been too busy trying to ORGANIZE my room before looking at it.
I'll bet you are glad that you don't live in *my* brain.
The thing is, is that she read the book "The Organized and Inspired Scrapbooker".
It's a book beautiful enough to drool over, isn't it? I HAVE this book. The cover has not even been opened. Why? you ask. It's not been opened because I've been too busy trying to ORGANIZE my room before looking at it.
I'll bet you are glad that you don't live in *my* brain.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I am a math loser
I have wanted to go back to school for ages. I really knew that I needed to brush up on my math skills. I have always considered myself a victim of new math. I have issues with all parts of math, and don't remember a lick of it from high school. So the other day I was in Staples I saw this software called Math Advantage 2008.
I have only done two lessons of the very basic lesson on the cd. I have learned a lot though.
I love doing factor trees! Why? Because I learned these cool tricks that I had never learned before.
The tricks of divisibility...
If divisible by 2 ,the last digit of the number will end in 0,2,4,6 or 8
If divisible by 3 ,you add the digits together and see if the sum will be divisible by 3.
If divisible by 4, the last two digits need to be divisible by 4.
If divisible by 5 , the last digit needs to end in 0 or 5.
If divisible by 6 , the number needs to be divisible by both 2 and 3.
If divisible by 9, you add the digits together and find out if the sum is divisible by 9.
If divisible by 10, the number needs to end in 0.
Too bad there isn't a trick for 7 or 8 that I've learned but what I know certainly makes for a lot faster problem solving.
So, I'm going to work through this cd, and hopefully I'll be refreshed with my high school level math skills and perhaps get myself ramped up for some college classes! The next thing I'd like to tackle is grammar!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Another cooking post
So, last night for dinner we had Coq au vin. I used the recipe from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook. It was Good. It was REALLY good. Note to self. When he says "while the chicken is cooking, he means do it now, it won't be good if you wait until just before you want to serve this. So, my only issue with the recipe is my issue with the cook. I waited a bit too long into the cooking process to braise the pearl onions, and that was not a good thing, but I fudged it by making sure the onions cooked through, and then instead of cooking down all the liquid, I poured it out, and then carmelized the onions. It was REALLY good. I would have liked to have eaten this an hour earlier than we actually did, and it was my fault. I count it a learned lesson. Did I mention that I made creme brulee for dessert? Oh yeah. It was good. VERY good.
My goals for today are to scrap! It's bitter cold outside here, so I'm going to fire up a couple space heaters for the basement, and then scrap away. I was going to crop at the local scrap store, because I need to get things together for my class, but since the alternator on the Expedition went belly up I'm without wheels until that gets fixed. That also slows down my job prospecting. Meh.
Anyway, I hope you have a good day, and you stay warm!
My goals for today are to scrap! It's bitter cold outside here, so I'm going to fire up a couple space heaters for the basement, and then scrap away. I was going to crop at the local scrap store, because I need to get things together for my class, but since the alternator on the Expedition went belly up I'm without wheels until that gets fixed. That also slows down my job prospecting. Meh.
Anyway, I hope you have a good day, and you stay warm!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
One of THOSE days
It's almost 11:30pm tonight, and I just realized that I have been wearing my sweater backwards.
All day long.
Since 7 am.
Yeah. It was one of THOSE days.
All day long.
Since 7 am.
Yeah. It was one of THOSE days.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Mr. Romance, and a little life lesson
I just wanted to post my most recent layout. This is Mike, our 11 year old black lab. He has taken to snuggling close with me when I sit on the sofa, and I just love it. He is very particular and wants my hand on him at all times. Which means that I am becoming adept at typing with my left hand! If I stop petting, scratching, or touching him, he whacks me with his paw.
I have always admired people who scrap with all these fun things to draw the eye through the page, and there are times that I love to do that too, but this layout is one of my favorites, because it really shows off Mike.
I love these dogs so much. They are really amazing bringers of love in this household.
Two peas challenge today: The biggest lesson in life came from my daughter. She is so much like me, she puts things off until they are a crisis. SO I've started to pay attention to her quite closely. I'm really bad about mailing things, and really bad about putting money in the bank.
She has (For two semesters in a row) hosed up her school payments. Yesterday I refused to help her out. My parents bailed me out more than I should openly admit, and I'm not going to do it for her. So we had a conversation that went like this: " I am SO going to be on top of this stuff next semester." I think that she gets it.
So, I'm going to be on top of housework. I put things off until when I walk through a room I get little fuzzy ankles from the dog hair. I avoid vacuuming as much as possible, and it embarrasses me. I love to dust, vacuum, not so much. No more putting things off. I'm gathering things up and mailing off my deposits today. I'm also going to stay on top of the dog hair. I just hate living on the edge of crisis like that.
Oh yeah. I'm paying off ALL my debts by the end of next month. I'm SO stinkin' geeked about this. I'm also going to be able to double my savings within 6 months. Life is moving forward in VERY good ways. I'm feeling quite a bit better about everything. I would really like a job though...
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday checking in
This is going to be a quick post, just updating everyone on my week.
Sunday was the definition of unpleasant with the man. I decided that I'd had enough. Now I'm marking time until I get in a position where I can take things into my own hands. It will happen. It will happen soon. I am strong and can do this.
Monday I decided to become an "Independent Avon Representative". I like the way that sounds! The opportunity is there, especially for this community. I have a friend in VA who did this, and supports her whole family on her sales, and she isn't a pain in the butt to deal with so I'm really excited about all this!
Tuesday was a good day. Naomi arrived from her trip to the everglades. Tales of alligators brushing against her legs when she was in the Cypress Dome have managed to begin to turn the hair that isn't grey yet, a slightly lighter shade of brown. She absolutely glows from the suntan she got while down there, and also received a whole new appreciation for this world that we're in, so it was a very good thing.
That's it so far! It's Wednesday. Could he be worse? Could he better? Am I past the point of caring? (Prolly). We shall see, but until then, I'm keeping my chin up, my attitude in check, and my eyes on my goals. I'm actually reaching for them, and it feels dang good!
Sunday was the definition of unpleasant with the man. I decided that I'd had enough. Now I'm marking time until I get in a position where I can take things into my own hands. It will happen. It will happen soon. I am strong and can do this.
Monday I decided to become an "Independent Avon Representative". I like the way that sounds! The opportunity is there, especially for this community. I have a friend in VA who did this, and supports her whole family on her sales, and she isn't a pain in the butt to deal with so I'm really excited about all this!
Tuesday was a good day. Naomi arrived from her trip to the everglades. Tales of alligators brushing against her legs when she was in the Cypress Dome have managed to begin to turn the hair that isn't grey yet, a slightly lighter shade of brown. She absolutely glows from the suntan she got while down there, and also received a whole new appreciation for this world that we're in, so it was a very good thing.
That's it so far! It's Wednesday. Could he be worse? Could he better? Am I past the point of caring? (Prolly). We shall see, but until then, I'm keeping my chin up, my attitude in check, and my eyes on my goals. I'm actually reaching for them, and it feels dang good!
Friday, January 11, 2008
It's crude and ugly, but it's my space
I've finally started to make space for my scrapping stuff. I'm not totally in love with everything about it, but it works so far. We have an unfinished basement, and that's where I scrap. The floor is cement, and it's COLD. I have one of those oil filled electric heaters that I push under the edge of the table that I sit at and it warms the area I'm in.
I just recently went to Target and purchased 3 sets of the 6 cube wire packages. It's a good idea but they aren't perfect by any means. They often come apart. For my situation that's not a bad idea, but when the basement is finally finished and I get settled into a finished space, I want to find a way to put them together in a little more stable way. I also need to pick up a few more Cropper Hopper 12x12 holders. I have a lot of paper still on the horizontal and they get all dog eared on the horizontal from me.
OH...Target does have a paper cart thing that is made with the wire, and I hated it. It was not easy to use, and the wheels really didn't work well. I'm moving to all vertical paper storage now.
I have been told that zip ties can add more shelves to the cubes, but I think that for what I use them for they are good, and I don't want to put too much weight on these. I keep my cuttlebug, my quick kutz, and my wishblade on the shelves. I also have plastic filing chests that I got from Staples when they put them on sale ( the 6 drawer chests...). I love those things, and I'm looking forward to getting those organized even more.
So, that's my space in all of it's ugly glory! I didn't tell you all about the gigantic 54"television across from the table. We don't have cable in the basement yet, but I can watch chick flicks on the XBox while I play. It's a good place, and it's MINE! YAY!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tagged by Aimeslee
1. Name your 2 favorite scrapbooking topics:
a. my kiddoes
b. my dogs
2. What are the 2 best places you've been to?
a. Disney World
b. San Francisco
3. Name 2 things you do every day:
a. Make Coffee
b.Cook a meal
4. Tell us 2 things that pretty much everyone knows about you.
a. I love to cook *nice* meals
b. I want to write a book, but I'm afraid.
5. 2 places you wish to visit:
a. Paris
b. Montreal
6. 2 things you may not know about me are:
a. I once had a pet cow. His name was Caesar, and he was hand raised because his mother rejected him. (I grew up in North Dakota, it's common...not.)
b. I love, love, love cool independent films.
7. 2 nicknames you've had at some time in your life:
a. Kate
b. Kitten
8. Name 2 of your favorite drinks:
a. Vanilla Seltzer
b. Warm tea.
9. What are 2 interesting (in a good or bad way) jobs you have had in your life?
a. Worst job evah... I worked in a donut shop. I had to clean the trays that the donuts sat on after they were cooked. It was a greasy, nasty mess.
b. I worked as a research assistant for a Dr. that was studying Macular Degeneration. I absolutely loved the patients, and am chomping at the bit to get into a new job where I can have patient contact again.
10. What are your top 2 fun things to do after work?
a. Make dinner.
b. Put on my slippers and maybe my jammies and bathrobe. (I'm a real party animal, I tell you!)
11. What are 2 things I would like to learn:
a. Photoshop
b. More and more about The Treaty of Versailles. I'm absolutely amazed at how much I've been learning about how much this truly affected the world that we live in.
12. What are the last 2 songs you downloaded or last 2 CD's you bought?
a. Dylan (Bob Dylan)
b. Shine (Joni Mitchell)
13. Name 2 movies you could watch or you have watched 100 times in your life and still watch again, no problem:
a. Ever After
b.The Princess Bride
14. What 2 songs will you always listen to in their entirety because they truly speak to you?
a. Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchell)
b. I can only imagine (Mercy Me)
Now, if you notice that every question has 2 answers, and the last question was added by me, that means that you get to answer these questions and add a question to the pile before sending it on. I am tagging Theresa and Helena ( although I would be surprised if this was up Helena's alley, her blog is much more graphic...and well more interesting than mine, and it's also filled with lots and lots of pictures of cool things and her pretty little girl....) I can hope, right?
a. my kiddoes
b. my dogs
2. What are the 2 best places you've been to?
a. Disney World
b. San Francisco
3. Name 2 things you do every day:
a. Make Coffee
b.Cook a meal
4. Tell us 2 things that pretty much everyone knows about you.
a. I love to cook *nice* meals
b. I want to write a book, but I'm afraid.
5. 2 places you wish to visit:
a. Paris
b. Montreal
6. 2 things you may not know about me are:
a. I once had a pet cow. His name was Caesar, and he was hand raised because his mother rejected him. (I grew up in North Dakota, it's common...not.)
b. I love, love, love cool independent films.
7. 2 nicknames you've had at some time in your life:
a. Kate
b. Kitten
8. Name 2 of your favorite drinks:
a. Vanilla Seltzer
b. Warm tea.
9. What are 2 interesting (in a good or bad way) jobs you have had in your life?
a. Worst job evah... I worked in a donut shop. I had to clean the trays that the donuts sat on after they were cooked. It was a greasy, nasty mess.
b. I worked as a research assistant for a Dr. that was studying Macular Degeneration. I absolutely loved the patients, and am chomping at the bit to get into a new job where I can have patient contact again.
10. What are your top 2 fun things to do after work?
a. Make dinner.
b. Put on my slippers and maybe my jammies and bathrobe. (I'm a real party animal, I tell you!)
11. What are 2 things I would like to learn:
a. Photoshop
b. More and more about The Treaty of Versailles. I'm absolutely amazed at how much I've been learning about how much this truly affected the world that we live in.
12. What are the last 2 songs you downloaded or last 2 CD's you bought?
a. Dylan (Bob Dylan)
b. Shine (Joni Mitchell)
13. Name 2 movies you could watch or you have watched 100 times in your life and still watch again, no problem:
a. Ever After
b.The Princess Bride
14. What 2 songs will you always listen to in their entirety because they truly speak to you?
a. Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchell)
b. I can only imagine (Mercy Me)
Now, if you notice that every question has 2 answers, and the last question was added by me, that means that you get to answer these questions and add a question to the pile before sending it on. I am tagging Theresa and Helena ( although I would be surprised if this was up Helena's alley, her blog is much more graphic...and well more interesting than mine, and it's also filled with lots and lots of pictures of cool things and her pretty little girl....) I can hope, right?
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Lost Seasons 1-3
For those of you who have never seen an episode of Lost and are wondering about it. You can go to ABC.com and watch seasons 1-3 in HD. Make sure you have a good video processor on your computer though!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Why I love a bad boy
I have to admit that I have a love for a bad boy. He smokes, he drinks, he swears like a chef. That's because he's a chef. His No Reservations show on television is the best thing on since the writers strike has basically trashed the television season. I can't watch his show without cringing and sometimes gagging.
That being said, for Christmas I bought us a cookbook. Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook. It's truly a work of art. This isn't a book for those with delicate sensibilities, the author calls it's reader names like "useless screwhead" or "numbnuts". It's quiet obvious that the author is full of poetic sensibilities. This is just the most fun cook book I have ever cooked out of.
Last night I made Veau Viennoise (pg 148-9) from the cookbook. I kept telling myself that it just couldn't be as easy as he says. It was beautifully easy. It was wonderful. The only thing that I left out of the recipe was his garnish of anchovies on top of each cutlet. I'm not a fan of fishy anchovies, so I passed. I also made a beurre blanc for the veau. It was just perfect. We paired it with Green Beans seasoned with toasted, slivered almonds and a little lemon juice. The starch was a simple box of Rice Selects-- the tomato one that's got Paul Prudhomme's photo on the front. (There were two with his picture on the front...this is the one with the mild spices, the other was Louisiana style and hot.)
Dinner was delicious. I love capers, and this recipe calls for capers as a garnish. It was so amazing, and it was so easy. Truly, the hardest part was pounding the veal chop.
Next on the list from the cookbook is Pot-au-feu (pg 204). I will report in on this recipe. I've decided to throw in a recipe now and then too, but I can't believe how easy and amazing his recipes are now that I'm actually working my way through the cookbok and discovering that I don't mind being mocked for using prepared bread crumbs ( we don't buy bread, so making it fresh is kind of out of the picture...) I am really learning from him. Even though he tells us in the introduction that he's NOT going to teach the reader to cook.
So, you can see. Sometimes a bad boy is a good thing to love.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Belief -o-matic
So, today I was flipping through the net and I came across a Belief O Matic here.
My results were pretty comforting.
Here's how I scored:
I was mostly curious how I would fall between Conservative and Liberal Christian faith. I am very happy that I fell into the Liberal side of the list. I know too many people who put the "mental" in fundamental.
My results were pretty comforting.
Here's how I scored:
| 1. | Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%) |
| 2. | Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (97%) |
| 3. | Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (80%) |
| 4. | Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (77%) |
| 5. | Orthodox Quaker (72%) |
| 6. | Bahá'í Faith (70%) |
| 7. | Jehovah's Witness (67%) |
| 8. | Liberal Quakers (62%) |
| 9. | Reform Judaism (60%) |
| 10. | Seventh Day Adventist (58%) |
| 11. | Orthodox Judaism (55%) |
| 12. | Unitarian Universalism (55%) |
| 13. | New Thought (54%) |
| 14. | Eastern Orthodox (53%) |
| 15. | Roman Catholic (53%) |
| 16. | Islam (53%) |
| 17. | Scientology (51%) |
| 18. | Sikhism (47%) |
| 19. | Mahayana Buddhism (46%) |
| 20. | Theravada Buddhism (46%) |
| 21. | Nontheist (42%) |
| 22. | Neo-Pagan (40%) |
| 23. | Taoism (39%) |
| 24. | New Age (38%) |
| 25. | Secular Humanism (37%) |
| 26. | Jainism (31%) |
| 27. | Hinduism (27%) |
I was mostly curious how I would fall between Conservative and Liberal Christian faith. I am very happy that I fell into the Liberal side of the list. I know too many people who put the "mental" in fundamental.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to my friends and loved ones, and believe me, if you are reading this you fall into that category. I've met so many fun people through blogging, it's amazing how you truly get to know people through this medium.
My New Years Affirmations:
1. Be healthy. Mentally, physically and spiritually.
2. Be self supporting. Trying to not be a drain on our finances, but contributing to our finances. I can't take not working! I really enjoyed it as I was getting the house together, but now I'm ready to move on and get out a little more. I think that I really miss the patient interaction and the mental stimulation at my job in Boston. I really want to get myself in a less dependant and more independant place.
3. Be honest. I am loving life and am not going to keep my mouth shut anymore when I find injustice in my life and around the world. It's time to be honest with people and let them know that I'm not willing to play games for "the better".
4. Be self liking. I know that when the previous three things fall into place, my own self esteem will go up. I am a fat 40 year old woman, but I really like myself!
5. Be connected. I need to re-connect with my family. They are my only siblings, and I need to let them know that I want to be in their lives.
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