Unexpected love in numbers.

10. I have known that my life with Dan has been ending for the last 10 months. It didn't ever really get 'better'. It got worse and worse. Culminating in a comment from him just over a month ago, that my kids could not come to the house we share over the summer.

9. I have seen at least 9 different places to live in the last few months. I found a large, affordable mobile home. Perfect for the kids and me. It's 2 years old, meticulously clean, in a fantastic school district. It doesn't even look like a mobile home.

8. I have been applying to jobs for the last 8 months, NOTHING. Then this week I finally started hearing back on all those resumes and applications. It's looking VERY good here.

7. 7 weeks ago, my Stepmother (who both looks and sounds like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies) gave me a membership to EHarmony.

6. It took me 6 weeks to make the decision to sign up, not expecting anything, really. Once signing up, it did not look so good out there. Lots of men that I was matched with were very lonely. Ok. Not really lonely more like horny. I had one date. In the middle of the date, he announced that he lived with his mom and he had never had a girlfriend before, and oh, by the way he'd had a heart attack 3 months ago. He was 50. I began to go to EHarmony for the entertainment.

5. 5 days ago I met someone who actually didn't offend me on EHarmony. I was stunned. He was actually friendly, understood my jokes, had a job (!!!!), and was honest about himself. Not once in any communications we've had did he tell me how wonderful he was. Heck, when I still communicate with Dan, all I hear is how great he is and how I've thrown away something good.

4. I told a friend of mine about him (we shall call him Mr. Mysterious Heartbeats for now -- MMH for short), and she laughed at me. She laughed at me because I was being so cautious. She said that I needed to put down my hands, and start paying attention to the gifts that God has been giving me, in His time, in His way. Four amazing things. Gary is going to Iraq in about 4 weeks. In 8 weeks I will have custody of the kids full time ( I'm letting them finish their school year before getting them). I have finally gotten my state residency settled. I have been surrounded by godly women who love me and guide me.

3. I have heard from 3 women whom Dan has had sex with. They all have contacted me. It's freaky, and I don't have any anger for him anymore. I truly am over all of it. It's so strange.

2. I'm ready I have been in counseling, dealing with everything that's been happening. I can truly say that I can be happy in this life with my kids and my God. The two most important loves in my life.

1. MMH understands all of it. HE respects me. We talk for hours, and not once has he tried to steer our conversation into areas of sexual talk. He really cares about me. I'm just walking around stunned. Stunned I tell you. So, it's not a love that makes me want to get married and have babies ( well, maybe it is ) but I've got my head on straight, and I'm just enjoying actually FEELING like a woman who matters to someone beyond her children again.

Pray for me to have wisdom.