Quick Thursday update

Yes, I know it's late.

Physical Therapy was not terrible. I'm glad to get that going. The therapist stated that it would take about 6 weeks to get my shoulder back.

Back to valium, only I've got lots of exercises to do now.

I'm in a better place. It's good. The mental therapist gave me a lot of tips on doing things to help me walk through this stage of life.

The emotional wringer

Today I'm a mess. I took the Valium this morning like I'm supposed to, I woke up in pretty much agony over the stupid stupid shoulder. I took it with food and it didn't seem to make me sleepy.

My issues today are that I cannot stop crying. I think about everything and then I cry. I am an emotional wreck. It's ok, I am holding on. I'm now having a huge aversion to my phone. Everytime it rings there's a person on the other end with a new appointment for me. Is this ever going to end? Am I going to spend the rest of my life doctoring for this?

I don't like this. One. Bit.

Floating

Just a quick update I cannot stand anymore Valium. It's a cruel sleepy Mistress.

Today I voted. I felt like I'd really accomplished something considering I had to sober up to do it. I was afraid that I'd find a nice comfortable place to lay down on the sidewalk as I walked to my polling place.

Today I took stock of my funds and what needs to get paid. Yup I'm short. Of course being off work means no money coming in. So this means dipping into savings. Yippie, Skippie!

My attitude is improving, and that's a good thing. My life is a blessing, each day as it comes, I can do this!

Thyroid, Schmyroid

Almost 2 weeks ago I had a full body Catscan. Why would something like that have happened to a mild mannered insurance agent? It's because I'm a klutz, and slipped on wet blacktop in the parking lot at work. When My shoulder started to hurt, and I couldn't use it, I went to the ER at a local hospital. They got me in right away, I didn't even have to sit in the waiting room.

I laid there, throwing up from the pain for about an hour, and then the Dr came in and looked me over and then told me I'd have the pleasure of xrays. Apparently he twitched while putting them in the computer because the only thing that didn't get xrayed was my head. They came in and gave me two vicoden, and I proceeded to throw up from the Vicoden. Then they gave me something for the nausea. After tons of xrays and a Catscan he came back and told me that there were no breaks. BUT (I love the BUT) my thyroid had a calicification on it, and it has dropped beneath my sternum.

Fast Forward to followup visit a week ago. Dr is concerned, contacts endocrinologist, who says to get an ultrasound of it. So since that was a "regular" Dr visit I have to make another app't for the following day where the Dr. also assesses my sore shoulder. My shoulder is in spasm along with my back. More vicoden and this time Flexeril. I float and twitch in pain on and off for the next few days because I can't take it continuously as I have appointments and things that I need to drive for. Since I have a strong reaction to the Vicoden I have to be off it for at least 12 hours before I feel safe driving.

I had the ultrasound on Thursday, blood work two days prior to that ( thanks, I appreciated the pain of the tech digging around for my vein that rolled on her ).

Today, I find out that my thyroid has a 3.5 cm mass on it. They aren't even going to bother with a biopsy. Now the endocrinologist is not going to see me, I get to see a surgeon. Welcome to new meds too. Valium, cholesterol stuff, and blood sugar stuff. No more flexeril 'cuz of the Valium, apparently I can get a refill of Vicoden if I need to!

Meanwhile I'm off work, no paycheck off work. I won't get paid again for 30 days when they pay me for disability, and only a small portion.

My brakes are dying on my pos car. So, those of you who thought that I'd given up blogging, well, I'm baaack. I've gotta have a place to put all this stuff down.

Gratituesday C

Cookies! Peanut butter with peanut butter cups in them.
Cups...I happily drink water from my insulated cup all day long.
Cream...it makes me happy in all it's forms, even ...
COOL WHIP... in whipped jell-0 Yum!

Gratituesday B

I am still at it! Two weeks in a row! Whoo hoo!!

I am grateful for:

Beans- a delicious and nutritious food.
Breathing- something that my asthmatic daughter doesn't take for granted.
Balance- I am working on balance,in my attitudes, finances and outlook.
Breakfast- I really think it's my favorite meal of the day.
Breaks at work- I am grateful to have them, and if I don't take them, I am able to increase my efficiency.
Boston- one of my favorite cities! I am hoping to visit this fall and see some much loved friends.


Things are moving along smoothly here, my exhusband sent me paperwork for me to fill out so that I can get my share of his retirement. I know it irks him to no end, but it will make a huge difference in my life.

Keep me in your prayers, I'm considering some major changes in my life, and am looking for not just a sign from God, but a big rap upside the head to get me to turn and see the path he has laid out for me.

Gratituesday A

Today I am grateful for:

Aaron- My middle child. I love him. He's 16 and already 6'2" tall.

Apple pie- the only way I can eat apples because they are cooked,I can't eat fresh apples without having a nasty, embarrassing reaction.

Airplanes- it's how I'm able to see my family and friends quickly and easily.

Amish Friendship Bread Starter- Tonight I baked my loaves, and they are yummy! I used the chocolate pudding in the batter for the ones I made tonight. They turned out so good. Definitely I will make them again.

Air Conditioner- I love being able to make my bedroom just a little cooler so that I can sleep easier at night.

Autos- I would say this is a love/hate relationshp. I really like having a job, and since I'm an insurance agent, I depend on people to keep buying them. Please, keep buying them.

And, it's good to be back!