Yes, she breathes, and she is scrapbooking!

 I have been very quiet for a while, but not for bad things, there are lots of good stuff happening!

I've been taking a class online and I'm going to post my pages here, and also post some other pages that I'm doing that aren't specific to the class, but pages that I am happy to share here also.

The class? I am so thrilled that I am able to take this class, the group of people taking it are very supportive, and Shimelle is an excellent teacher. I'm finding that already two days in I'm willing to try new things as a scrapbooker.

This page was kind of hard for me to do.  I first saw the new towers as we were leaving NYC on a summer cruise to Bermuda. I took the photos with my iPhone, and they aren't the best photos ever, but it didn't matter to me, I just wanted to document what I was seeing.

There is some hidden journaling that discusses what it felt like seeing the towers for the first time  from this angle since 9/11 happened. You can see a little bit of the tag poking out above the picture on the left. 

Thanks for taking the time to stop in and have a gander!

Uhm...wow

It's been a LONG time since updating.

  I've moved out of my crackhouse apartment, and into a nice apartment, thanks to a friend that I am rooming with.  It's a 3 bedroom place. I have room for EVERYTHING!

It's hard to adjust to a roommate though.  I didn't realize how much I had gotten into my own routine, and then to have another person who interrupts it and lives according to her own standards... it's difficult.  I wouldn't change a thing though.  I love having someone that I can talk to and to help take care of my dog.

 That's right.  I have a dog!  His name is Fenway, and he's just about perfect.  I can't believe that I went so long without a dog, knowing that I love dogs!  He has probably quadrupled my happy factor!

 I'm still off work.  I still have a job. I'm in tons of pain, and I take the good stuff for it.  I would love to feel good again.

 I'm also going to come back and update this more often. I think it's going to be cathartic.

And the results are in

The results from the surgery showed that I have follicular cancer. These results are just verbal results from the lab to my surgeon. I'm waiting on written results and then waiting on a call from my regular Dr to discuss them with me.

The difference between papillary and follicular as far as I can tell is that papillary and most follicular cancers respond very well to radiated iodine treatment. I don't know what kind of follicular type cancer I have, but if the cancer spreads, papillary spreads to lymph nodes, and follicular goes for lungs and bones.

We're shooting for just the plain jane cancer. I would like to take a pill and call it good thankyouverymuch.

I have been looking for a pretty rendition of Mother Theresa's quote "I know the Lord won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much."

On the shoulder front...I get to start injections of steriods in hopes of healing that up. Can we say 'roid rage mixed up with mood swings and pms? OH BOY!

And she was Swingin'...just a swingin!

I'm posting an update. It's been just over a week and have fully been hit with the mood swings associated with a total thyroidectomy. I'm really hating these mood swings, like HATING the mood swings. It doesn't help that my monthly nemesis PMS has decided to show up for a visit. Oh yeah. Life is good in my household. LOL

When the Dr. opened me up and got to the tumor he found that it wasn't just the size expected but considerably bigger. He decided then and there to take the whole thyroid.

The pathology is not completely back yet. The Dr visit yesterday was frightening. He said that there were test results that had been sent out for a 2nd opinion. He did not discuss any of the returned results yet.

So, I'm scared. I have a friend who had her thyroid removed the day after mine. Her path results were back on last week Thursday. The Dr. didn't call today. He said he'd call when he got the results.

I go back to PT for the impinged shoulder/torn rotator cuff tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to that so much. I actually enjoy the movement, and the walk there feels good. I am gonna get this all fixed up!

I'm going to go take some meds, and then I'm going to set morning alarms so that I won't miss PT.

Today is the day.

Goodbye to my thyroid. It was not doing it's job so well , and it's gotta go.

My friend picks me up in a couple hours, and I'll go on to get prepped for the surgery.

I am starving, and I never get hungry in the morning.

I'm looking forward to posting as soon as able that they got all the cancer and that all I need to do is heal up!

I played the Cancer card today.

Today I played the Cancer card for the first time.

I have an acquaintance that has a lot of issues. She comes to me and I listen, and listen and listen some more.
I had to go pee really bad, and it just popped out of my mouth, instead of standing there, shifting my weight from side to side, and getting antsy, I said, "I am so sorry that you have so much on your plate. I'd love to help you out, but I'm a little overwhelmed with dealing with my own issues. I have cancer." I then looked at her and she kind of swallowed uncomfortably and then I smiled and went in my apartment, and peed.

An update on my dummy stupid shoulder. It's still a dummy stupid shoulder. I'm doing the exercises. It still hurts, but I'm progressing. When I'm strapped down for surgery I hope they don't use the stupid arm to pump the meds in me. I'm gonna be annoyed if it gets even dumber because of the surgery.

Oh. I get a little freaked out now that I know it's less than a week away. EEKS!

Today

I woke up today, and puttered around, the last time I did laundry I did it at a friends home, and the clothes were slightly damp, so they've been draped all over my apartment. This morning I walked around with a pile of hangers on my arm, and hung up the ones that needed to be hung up and folded the rest.

It seems like it's just like any other day of the week, I feel like I've been off work for FORFREAKINGEVER. My shoulder hurts a little less every day. Taking Naproxen seems to help more than the Vicoden since it's working on the swelling and Vicoden just handles the pain.

I saw the surgeon about the mass. There was a biopsy, and a frozen section, and a call back. It all came back positive. I went in and got all the preadmission testing done. Heard all the stuff about what could change, but really I was ok. If you had looked in the dictionary, you would have seen my picture next to the word stoic.

It's kind of funny. I walk around and feel very much at peace. Then at times it's a "Wow. I have cancer. I have a 3.6cm mass of cancer."

I have also noted that when you say the word cancer lots and lots. It doesn't even make sense as a word anymore. I'm also in awe at how much mucous gets made when crying. Just absolutely in awe.

I want to shake my fist at people who whine because they can't find the granola bars they want in Target, and say "Really? Your world is coming to a stop because you can't find your granola bar? I have cancer!"

I want to cry and tell my sister to stop making this about her, because it's not. It's about me. I don't really care if there's death and sadness around her. I have cancer. She didn't cause it.

I am clinging. CLINGING. to this... it's papillary cancer, the surgeon said he believes it's fully encapsulated. This kind of cancer has a 97% survival rate. He doesn't even think I'm going to need radiation or chemo.

So, if you get cancer. Pick this kind.

I think I'll go cry for a while now.