So, today our friends left to head back to Boston. We had SUCH a nice time. No, really, a WONDERFUL time. I miss them already.
I am leaning towards some huge changes in my life. I'm not looking forward to doing them, but I know that in the end I am going to be doing the best thing that I could ever do. It's just so scary to step out into the wide world and depend on myself. I feel like I've always depended on someone. I depended on my parents, and then went to college, still depending on my parents. Then I got married and stayed married for 18 years. Pretty much immediately after the marriage crumbled to bits, I met Dan and I moved in and we have been together for 3, almost 4 years now.
I've discovered things about me that I really like. I've discovered things about my friends that I like even more, and I've discovered things about Dan that I just don't know if I like all that much. I do realize that this is part of the way relationships go, and that commitment and love help both partners move forward. I just don't know if this is something that I want to spend the rest of my life with him dealing with. I am capable, I am strong, and I am going to learn independence either way. I will not remain here and not have an income , I will save my funds for the future, no matter what it holds. I will prepare to be a person of strength. Not a bad thing.
Please, if you are a praying person, please continue to keep me in your prayers. Hopefully things will brighten up here. Otherwise I'll be doing what I need to do, and things will brighten up anyway!